Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
