In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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