So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize