Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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