Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
