I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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