i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
