Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
