curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
