Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
