remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish I only lived at night.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
