is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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