Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
