Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
