I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
