Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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