when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
