I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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