Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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