We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
