The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
