Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Randomize
