We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
