I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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