I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you win again, gameday.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize