Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Boobs are out for the taking
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
