Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
