i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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