Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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