I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
did i just pee glitter
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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