Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
