What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh god it's open bar.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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