I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
