is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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