At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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