there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
