i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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