I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
