hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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