I will die if light touches me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
