So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We don't watch enough power rangers
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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