We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
