just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
