So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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