then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
