i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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