all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize