wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Green mimosas i think yes
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
