wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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