Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
