btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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