I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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