So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
