My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
