Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
