you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize