I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
how does that bad decision feel?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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