Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
honey bunches of taint.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
