i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
