dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
