dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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